well, some people apparently saw the Chalk Box Heroes' chalk art in town (see post #4) and decided to create some of their own. i feel so proud, as if i've started a new art movement! but enough egocentrism- here's their chalk art!
pretty magnificent, huh?
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
re:horribly blogged down!
i am HORRIBLY BLOGGED DOWN IN END-OF-SUMMER DOLDRUMS, and terrifiedly dreading the end of summer vacation and the start of freshman year. so, i am challenging a fellow blogger and cooking enthusiast, Stephanie Higgins, to a cooking contest. i've done several cooking contests before, but most of them have been with my cousin Hana. it's been pretty brilliant. the rules are as follows:
1. each contestant must create 5 dishes (appetizers, soup, salad, main dish, dessert) from scratch and present them to the judges.
2. points are awarded for plating (how the dish looks) taste, and creativity.
3. a secret ingredient will be decided upon by both chefs, and both will use the same secret ingredient.
4. judging will be carried out by a neutral party.
UNWRITTEN RULES:
5. using store-bought fresh pasta is unfair.
6. using more than 2 sticks of butter constitues cheating. same with excessive use of bacon. winning over judges by virtue of grease is no fair.
7. also prohibited is the use of wine to inebriate the judges before they taste the contestants' entries.
8. following recipes to the letter for everything is kinda frowned upon and may result in glaring.
here's hoping that Stephanie will accept my challenge, and the resulting competition will provide material for further blogging! signing off now.
(cheesy salute)
1. each contestant must create 5 dishes (appetizers, soup, salad, main dish, dessert) from scratch and present them to the judges.
2. points are awarded for plating (how the dish looks) taste, and creativity.
3. a secret ingredient will be decided upon by both chefs, and both will use the same secret ingredient.
4. judging will be carried out by a neutral party.
UNWRITTEN RULES:
5. using store-bought fresh pasta is unfair.
6. using more than 2 sticks of butter constitues cheating. same with excessive use of bacon. winning over judges by virtue of grease is no fair.
7. also prohibited is the use of wine to inebriate the judges before they taste the contestants' entries.
8. following recipes to the letter for everything is kinda frowned upon and may result in glaring.
here's hoping that Stephanie will accept my challenge, and the resulting competition will provide material for further blogging! signing off now.
(cheesy salute)
Monday, August 23, 2010
time to write about other people. think positive. MUST THINK POSITIVE!
i open this blog post today by telling you that i will attempt to write aobut ANOTHER PERSON (gasp) WITHOUT being NEGATIVE! (gasp!)
since my right brain appears to be atrophying and crumbling like a Starbucks scone (as evidenced by the way my head slumps noticeably to the left) i have decided i will try to save it by writing about something that is not
A.) me
B.) negative
C.) someone else's ex girlfriend.
after contemplating who i would write on without sounding negative, i determined this strenous thinknig was having even more of a deletrious effect on my poor right brain. so, i am sorry, folks. (all 2 of you who read my blog.) here is yet more stuff about me. i must get hana to post.....if she isn't off filming hobbits or generally being an artistic genius.
spekaing of Hana: we decided to be extra artsy this summer. about half of the productive things we did during vacation happened at night, and surprised either A. citizens of our hometown, or
B. our friends on Facebook.
speaking of Facebook, our best project was a tribute to Pop art, using a can of Campbell's tomato soup we purchased at the local Hannaford. many pictures were taken of the can of soup, using it as a focal point for many unexpected and soupy situations (rather than silkscreen the same image repeatedly to form a collage.)
this series was originally shot with a banana (see the cover of the Velvet Underground's album Andy Warhol) but Hana managed to expose half the roll of film whne taking it out of the camera, effectively wrecking it. (otherwise she was a brilliant photographer.)
since my right brain appears to be atrophying and crumbling like a Starbucks scone (as evidenced by the way my head slumps noticeably to the left) i have decided i will try to save it by writing about something that is not
A.) me
B.) negative
C.) someone else's ex girlfriend.
after contemplating who i would write on without sounding negative, i determined this strenous thinknig was having even more of a deletrious effect on my poor right brain. so, i am sorry, folks. (all 2 of you who read my blog.) here is yet more stuff about me. i must get hana to post.....if she isn't off filming hobbits or generally being an artistic genius.
spekaing of Hana: we decided to be extra artsy this summer. about half of the productive things we did during vacation happened at night, and surprised either A. citizens of our hometown, or
B. our friends on Facebook.
speaking of Facebook, our best project was a tribute to Pop art, using a can of Campbell's tomato soup we purchased at the local Hannaford. many pictures were taken of the can of soup, using it as a focal point for many unexpected and soupy situations (rather than silkscreen the same image repeatedly to form a collage.)
this series was originally shot with a banana (see the cover of the Velvet Underground's album Andy Warhol) but Hana managed to expose half the roll of film whne taking it out of the camera, effectively wrecking it. (otherwise she was a brilliant photographer.)
the next rebellious public-art project we undertook was chalk drawings on the town green. we drew a man sword-fighting a giant lobster, surrounded by rainbow stone tiles, on an area of walkway with a round sotne circle in the center. we were watched the whole time by enthralled tourists and other assorted bystanders, onlookers, and gawkers. unfortunately, when we came back to check on it later, someone had mysteriously erased both man and lobster. we don't know for sure, but we suspect it was the police, attempting to clean up our 'vandalism'.
c'est magnifique, non?
et fin.
signing off now, Lia
Friday, August 20, 2010
Product Placement Patsy
this is my (lia's) take on a day in the life of an over-commercialized, WASP-y, but perfectly content All-American Girl. enjoy.
Hello my name is Product-Placement Patsy! i bought into commercialism and mass-marketing and now i am the ideal, happy, all-american girl! i am 5’5”, weigh 110, and have perfect skin, a perfect tan, perfect white teeth, a gorgeous face, long wavy thick hair that never frizzes, and fit into size 2 jeans. i also have a wonderful, loving, happy middle class family, and i manage to never get drunk, do drugs, tag walls with spry paint, have one-night stands with random sleazy older guys, have sex with my boyfriend in the back of his car, fail high school class, or have to take any sort of therapy or antidepressants! and no matter what i eat, i never get fat. nevertheless, i eat mostly lean chicken or turkey, fruits and veggies, skim milk, and whole grains, and i never eat breakfast. i am super-popular and have a million friends, but my three best friends are named Sara, Alicia, and Ashley. i spend ALL my time with them, when i am not spending time with my family, babysitting, volunteering at the animal shelter, playing on the soccer team, or going on dates with my boyfriend, Josh McWhiteboy. we recently went to a Kanye West concert. He loves Kanye. later, we were making out in his car and he said he wanted to have sex with me, but i told him i was saving myself for marriage. it’s ok, i will stay with him anyway, even though he is a horny teenage boy. he is very hot, and we work out together at the gym sometimes. anyway, more about my girl besties. we love going shopping at the mall together. our favorite store is Victoria’s Secret. (shh!) our other fave thing to do is hang on the beach and work on our tans! sometimes when we are feeling adventurous we go for sushi. here’s what a day in my life looks like:
7:00 AM: wake up to radio alarm clock blasting Taylor Swift.
7:05 AM: shower, use special anti-frizz serum, deep condition hair
7:25 AM: brush teeth, blow-dry hair, wardrobe selection
7:45 AM: style hair, gather up my school stuff, check Facebook
8:00 AM: drive to school-no time for b-fast!
8:30 AM-11:30 AM: classes-i’m an A student! :) :) :)
11:30 AM-12:30 PM: lunch period! sometimes i go to the library to catch up on my studying with my besties, and sometimes i sit with Josh and his soccer team buddies. i usually eat a turkey sandwich, a light yogurt, and a diet coke! :) :) my faves...or sometimes ill have a salad :D
12:35 PM: check hair and makeup in bathroom mirror :O
12:40 PM: run to class!
12:41 PM-2:30 PM: afternoon classes
2:45 PM: start soccer practice! :) snack on trail mix or raw veggies
3:15 PM: drive home from soccer practice in my shiny new Prius that Daddy got me!
3:30 PM: try on new outfit combos i saw in Seventeen magazine in preparation for my movie date for Josh McWhiteboy. finally decide on a dynamite babydoll tee and some hott jeanz! :D i got them at Hollister...BEST STORE EVAH! i am a total hollister hottie. i also put on some Dior Daisy perfume...mmm.
4:00 PM: OMG! movie with Josh! <3 im totally pumped. josh offers me some popcorn...too bad it’s os fattening because it is yummy :)
6:00 PM: after Josh tried to go to far ith me in the back of his car, i got mad at ihm. he apologized and said never again...but still :’(
6:30 PM: dinner-grilled chicken and veggies!
7:30 PM: fam time with my little bro and my parents. played Scrabble.
8:30 PM: do homework :(
9:00 PM: watch The Hills.
9:30 PM: Josh calls, apologizes, says ‘sorry babe, don’t be mad at me.’ i’m not mad.
10:00 PM: check my FB page again
10:30: check my personal calendar on my iPhone. Txt a few peeps + lay out my outfit for tomorrow.
11:00 lights out after staring at the Taylor Lautner poster on my wall….what a hottie <3
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
what i didn't learn in junior high
so. My four years of incarceration at junior high have recently ended. I managed to get through the entire graduation ceremony shoeless, and my principal didn't seem to notice. just to further demonstrate the ineffectualness of my middle school education, i will proceed to rant about the ills plaguing our public school system today. So:
1. that 'problem solving' crap they taught me in Shop doesn't do shit if one of the steps is interrupted. plus, only the most perseverant (read: hardcore, masochistic) human being would keep going back to square one and evaluating their mistakes. for example: if Jane likes Bobby, and Bobby is madly in love with Barbie, then the logical step is to attempt to sabotage their relationship. But this does not suceed, and the happy couple continue to be together. Jane is so heartbroken she would rather not relive her past 'mistakes' with Bobby, and she goes off and buys a pint of Gifford's Lobster Tracks and consumes it on the town pier while weeping madly into the ocean. so this universal problem solving thing only works in an idealized world.
2. Only about half of the information they gave us about STDs and birth control in health actually sunk in, because the boys were all busy sniggering behind their hands and thinking about getting laid, and the girls were looking away and ignoring the teacher in order to preserve their facade of innocence and modesty.
3. in Shop class they teach you how to make little wooden catapults and flimsy toy cars. real life skills, right?
4. In my humble opinion, if the cafeteria eliminates dessert in order to get students to eat more 'healthfully', they should also cut back on the peanut butter and fluff (seriously, peanut butter i good, but is fluff even a real food?) and the gratuitous amounts of greasy meat. Especially ground beef. I think they are aiming to wipe out the US cattle population. i mean, what's a poor vegetarian like me to do? i can't subsist on salad! pff.
5. my evil english teacher, the TOTAL STEREOTYPE that she is, completely put her whole class off poetry by making us psychoanalyze, diagram, and question the motives of every line of verse we came across. perhaps she was trying to protect her innocent young charges from the terrible fate of being an english major and ending up writing ad copy at some shitty advert agency.
6. the Student Council elections are basically a huge, fucked-up popularity contest disguised as student government. how do i know this? because people NEVER follow up on their flipping campaign promises. ugh. which brings us to...
7. The yearly school fundraiser at Valentine's day. basically, you pay 50 cents for a lame paper heart and a cheap piece of candy, and then the student council will deliver it to whoever you ask. the funny thing is, it's always a bit murky what exactly they're raising funds FOR...unfortunately, this also turns into a huge popularity contest. And inevitably, all the haves end up deluged with construction paper and candy, leaving the have-nots to gape in jealousy.
8. The one good thing about middle school? THEY DON'T HAVE IT IN SUMMER! And i am OUTTA THERE! fuck yeah.
1. that 'problem solving' crap they taught me in Shop doesn't do shit if one of the steps is interrupted. plus, only the most perseverant (read: hardcore, masochistic) human being would keep going back to square one and evaluating their mistakes. for example: if Jane likes Bobby, and Bobby is madly in love with Barbie, then the logical step is to attempt to sabotage their relationship. But this does not suceed, and the happy couple continue to be together. Jane is so heartbroken she would rather not relive her past 'mistakes' with Bobby, and she goes off and buys a pint of Gifford's Lobster Tracks and consumes it on the town pier while weeping madly into the ocean. so this universal problem solving thing only works in an idealized world.
2. Only about half of the information they gave us about STDs and birth control in health actually sunk in, because the boys were all busy sniggering behind their hands and thinking about getting laid, and the girls were looking away and ignoring the teacher in order to preserve their facade of innocence and modesty.
3. in Shop class they teach you how to make little wooden catapults and flimsy toy cars. real life skills, right?
4. In my humble opinion, if the cafeteria eliminates dessert in order to get students to eat more 'healthfully', they should also cut back on the peanut butter and fluff (seriously, peanut butter i good, but is fluff even a real food?) and the gratuitous amounts of greasy meat. Especially ground beef. I think they are aiming to wipe out the US cattle population. i mean, what's a poor vegetarian like me to do? i can't subsist on salad! pff.
5. my evil english teacher, the TOTAL STEREOTYPE that she is, completely put her whole class off poetry by making us psychoanalyze, diagram, and question the motives of every line of verse we came across. perhaps she was trying to protect her innocent young charges from the terrible fate of being an english major and ending up writing ad copy at some shitty advert agency.
6. the Student Council elections are basically a huge, fucked-up popularity contest disguised as student government. how do i know this? because people NEVER follow up on their flipping campaign promises. ugh. which brings us to...
7. The yearly school fundraiser at Valentine's day. basically, you pay 50 cents for a lame paper heart and a cheap piece of candy, and then the student council will deliver it to whoever you ask. the funny thing is, it's always a bit murky what exactly they're raising funds FOR...unfortunately, this also turns into a huge popularity contest. And inevitably, all the haves end up deluged with construction paper and candy, leaving the have-nots to gape in jealousy.
8. The one good thing about middle school? THEY DON'T HAVE IT IN SUMMER! And i am OUTTA THERE! fuck yeah.
first post.....aka 'the danger zone for bloggers'
Okay, i am now bravely setting out to navigate the choppy waters of what is known as 'the blogger's first post'. Scary, eh? Well, there are many pitfalls. some bloggers fall into whirlpools of 'i cant think of anything to write' and are never heard from again, while others manage to bang out a cliche-ridden diatribe while sitting in an internet cafe eating gooey muffins and sipping bitter coffee. I, however, will try (for the sake of the world wide web) to write an actually interesting first post. So....put down your lame lattes and bland baked goods and read this first post.
Speaking of cliches, has anyone ever seen the classic 'you don't need to say anything' scene? This appears really often in lameass mass-marketed teen movies. Here's how it goes down: two characters (male and female) are sitting in a place that either A) induces some emotion or B) brings back childhood memories. Naturally, they are all alone. they are obviously in love, yet too modest/shy/reserved/doubtful to reveal it. Character A (usually the woman) says something along the lines of 'well, this place is so beautiful/you're so nice/you just told me you love me, and now i don't know what to say' and character B (usually the man) says 'well, sometimes you don't have to say anything.' Cue hot and heavy making out.
Well, the Chalk Box Heros aims to create a break from all this clichedness (yes, that is a new word) by pulling totally unexpected art-pranks on the (anything-but) sleepy tourist town where we are based, discussing art in all its forms online, talking about our large, polytalented, and Prozac-taking family, and generally lampooning commercialism and commercials in general. More posts to arrive EXTREMELY soon....now will someone please get me a pin so i can pop my overblown ego?
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